The 365 Gratitude Note Challenge
Over the past couple of weeks, since I introduced the 365 Gratitude Note Challenge, I was asked to specify the parameters around this opportunity more clearly to extend our gratitude over the next year. I am thrilled that there is so much interest in participating in this particular challenge. I believe it will have a noticeable impact on our individual lives and our community. We shall see!
History
I was first inspired to introduce this challenge to our community after reading a story preparing for my pre-Thanksgiving sermon. The story shared the incredible journey of a lawyer named John Kralik, who was at a low point in his life after failing with his law practice and moving through a painful second divorce. Kralik lived in a tiny apartment with little comfort, he was significantly overweight, and his girlfriend just broke up with him; nothing in life seemed to work out for him.
Then, one day, Kralik decided to focus on what he had instead of what he did not. Inspired by his girlfriend’s thank-you note for a Christmas gift, Kralik chose to write such a thank-you note each day to those in his life for whom he was grateful. He kept this Gratitude practice up for an entire year, and his life changed monumentally. Kralik’s exercise is based on the foundational Teachings of many religions and spiritual movements, and it has also found overwhelming evidence in the scientific community. Many beliefs and evidence seem to agree that focusing on gratitude changes one’s life for the better without fail.
You can read about John Kralik’s journey in his book “A Simple Act of Gratitude: How Learning to Say Thank You Changed My Life,” available on Kindle and paperback on Amazon via this link: https://amzn.to/31w40Sy.
The Challenge
The challenge is simple:
For an entire year, 365 days,
write a gratitude note, card, or letter
to someone you are grateful for
and send/give it to them.
We officially started on Thanksgiving Day (November 25, 2021) to conclude one year later before next Thanksgiving. However, if you missed the official starting point, do not worry. You can start at any time without feeling the need to catch up. The more that join us in this challenge and opportunity, the more we will experience the fruits and benefits from it.
Some Simple Guidelines
Write one gratitude note, card, or letter each day. Do not wait or try to get around this simple rule (e.g., write seven gratitudes for the week in one day).
Write your gratitude by hand on a physical note, card, or piece of paper. Do not text, write an email, call someone, or find other means to get around writing the gratitude by hand.
Write something meaningful and personal. Put some time and effort in and share why you are grateful for this person. Do not just write simple platitudes to get it over with but cherish every word that comes to mind.
Send the gratitude note, card, or letter off by snail mail every day. Take the time to research the address, ask for it directly, ask a friend, or send it to the person’s workplace or other location you know they would receive it with the note “personal” on it to ensure privacy. Alternatively, you may hand your gratitude to the person directly or leave it at their desk, workplace, etc. if you are confident they receive it. Do not just write the gratitude and not deliver it.
Additional FAQs
I’ve prepare some additional FAQs at the bottom of this post to answer some of the most common questions based on my experience and research around this topic.
Why Follow the Guidelines?
Research on gratitude and happiness has shown that following some practices are more effective than others, such as
The daily practice is more impactful on someone’s wellbeing and happiness than if it is collected and done in bulk.
The personal, handwritten note, card, or letter is significantly more impactful than any other means.
To make the gratitude personal by adding specific reasons or qualities that relate to the person to whom it is directed has shown to be more meaningful to both the writer and the recipient when it comes to its impact on wellbeing and happiness.
The actual sending off, handing it to, or making an effort to go somewhere and leave the gratitude extends its effect on the writer and the recipient. While gratitude letters that are not sent off can be powerful, sending them off showed a significant increase in both parties' wellbeing and happiness.
My Experience Thus Far
You might be wondering how the challenge is going for me, especially if you know that I usually never write anything by hand anymore, let alone notes, cards, or letters. Here are some of the highlights and observations thus far:
It takes me about an hour each day, from start to finish, to prepare, write, and send off one gratitude card.
I am most in tune with the exercise if I do it first thing in the morning as part of my meditation and prayer practice.
Sometimes, I had to reach out to the individual and ask them for their address if they were willing to share.
Other times, it took me some time to research people from the past with whom I have lost contact. For example, in one case, I ended up reading articles and listening to interviews about the person for hours, and I am still inquiring about their whereabouts and if they are still alive.
Some Realizations
Thus far, I have written and sent 10 cards, within the United States and internationally, and I came to some realizations:
It takes more time than I initially thought it would, mainly because I want to write something meaningful and from the heart.
The research about some individuals has been emotional. For example, I learned that someone has passed without me realizing it. In another case, I still don't know if that person is alive or not. And in general, delving into my memories for moments of gratitude often stirred up emotions related to the relationships I may have lost over time.
To spend the time it takes to focus on the meaningfulness of a relationship and why I am grateful for it is life-changing. However, I believe that it all depends on how much effort I put in, which will define how much I allow myself to see how many blessings there always have been and still are in my life.
It Is All Personal as Well as Collective
This experience is defined by how much attention we give it and how it becomes an essential practice in our lives. Suppose it is treated just as one more thing to do on our long and overwhelming task lists we try to grapple with every day. In that case, it might not be as impactful as if we deliberately set aside the time to develop the skills necessary to complete this marathon challenge. It is, essentially, all personal while it affects all of us collectively. The more of us decide to make it a deliberate practice, the more it will be felt in the community.
Some Final Thoughts
I have no idea if I will complete this challenge successfully or not. Right now, I take it day by day, and I see what happens. I already feel changes coming on, some of which were expected while others were surprising. I expect that I will get more practiced in writing my gratitudes as time goes on. At the same time, I will likely spend more time choosing a recipient as the obvious choices start to run out. Regardless of your approach, it is more than not doing anything, whatever you do and however you approach it.
May we all get the learning we desire from this experience, and may we celebrate ourselves for our willingness to add something into our lives that may not only serve us individually but the greater community as a whole.
Thank you for participating and finding your gratitude in life as you spread it among those who deserve it.
In deep Gratitude,
Rev. Jean-Marie Schweizer
Senior Minister Unity Fort Worth
FAQs
I don’t know many people, let alone 365.
This is a common concern. However, research showed that the average American knows about 600 people. Remember that everyone in your vicinity and beyond can be addressed, including those from the past, even if they have long passed. Some examples are: (a) people that work at your favorite grocery store, (b) a favorite high school teacher, (c) a friend from long ago whith whom you have lost contact, etc.
What if the person I want to write to has long passed?
While it is helpful to focus on those that are still among us first, it can still be beneficial to write a gratitude for those that have long passed. You might choose to send off your gratitude to their families for them to know how meaningful the person was to you. There might be an estate or foundation that remains in honor of the person of your choosing. Sometimes, those left behind can still benefit from your words of gratitude even many years after. The key is to still send the gratitude to someone rather than just leaving it at home.
Do I really need to handwrite the gratitude?
Yes! Research shows that a handwritten note is more impactful than if any other practice or medium is used.
I don’t have the time to write cards and then send them off.
Here is where you have an opportunity to choose how you want to spend your time. A simple breakdown of an average day can sometimes reveal idle times (e.g., watching TV) that could be spent doing something potentially more meaningful. The choice is yours.
It may take some time to adjust, which may also include communicating with your loved ones that you will spend some time for yourself as part of your self-care. Interestingly, such choices often support the gratitude practice outcome because it focuses on our desire and energy on what we want in our lives.
I am a really bad speller. Won’t that reduce the impact?
No! Spelling is less important than what your words are imparting on the recipient of your gratitude. If you are concerned about correct spelling, you choose to write a draft and run it through a spell checker before handwriting your gratitude.
Can I use my Christmas cards as a substitute?
Generally, Christmas cards are not as personal as the spirit of this challenge would expect. Additionally, you want to focus on one gratitude a day rather than many at the same time.
I don’t really have much to be grateful for.
That is the point of this challenge. Sometimes, our perception of life is so skewed toward the negative that it is hard to imagine anything to be working for us. However, by beginning to shift our perception one day at a time by opening up to those we are grateful for, we learn to realize how much we already have, which usually is followed by a natural sense of gratitude. This is often a gradual process, which is why the daily practice is relevant.